Trump ’16-It Could Happen

Was it really only 11 years ago that Donald Trump hosted Saturday Night Live? In one famous sketch on the April 3rd broadcast, The Apprentice star appeared on a parody of Regis & Kelly (Darrell Hammond & Amy Poehler) to plug his new book. In it, he jokes about how the mere presence of his face on any network significantly improves ratings and attracts varying age demographics.

How times have changed.

With the Republican primaries set for February of next year, a motley crew of overly-privileged names and faces vie for the attention of right-wing America (AKA Fox News viewers). While Trump’s bigoted remarks in weeks past give reason to believe the GOP is being stripped of it’s power in mainstream American society, consider that CNN recently calculated that the billionaire leads polls by 3% over Jeb Bush.

To the chagrin of both liberals and democrats everywhere, a large segment of the American population remains unsatisfied with incumbent President Barack Obama’s ability to improve the economy. With his approval ratings consistently teetering at around 50%, the Hawaii native has been victimized by a two-party Presidential model that allows Congress to shackle nearly every piece of legislation the Commander-In-Chief tables.

Cue Executive Orders and an even greater online presence for ObamaCare.

So, if Trump shuts his bombastic mouth for a few months and harbours the surging racism and hypocrisy brewing within—we’ll likely see the presidential inauguration of a woman for the first time in the country’s 239 years since independence was declared.

With current Daily Show host Jon Stewart’s threats to postpone his retirement because of the ‘golden material’ Trump’s bid has thrown his way, there’s little possibility that the real estate mogul could defeat ANY Democratic elect in 2016—let alone a Clinton. Even with the aforementioned horde of Americans dissatisfied with Obama’s 8 years in office, there’s no way the country elects the world’s worst toupee to the highest office in the land.

Is there?

To some extent, the two terms Ronald Reagan won in the ’80s provide evidence to the contrary. Along with The Terminator‘s commanding win as Governor of California (an office Reagan had previously held) one thing is for sure: American’s love their celebrities. Especially nowadays, where social media sites including Twitter and Instagram direct the undecided vote more than any stop on the campaign trail ever could.

Consider this: Obama himself credits the online campaign his staff undertook to lure a young generation of voters to the ballot booth as the primary reason he won in ’09. While Trump’s Twitter arguments have produced a source of comedy and insight into a privileged man’s astonishing lack of empathy (see war with Modern Family writer), the average voter’s memory doesn’t last very long.

For any evidence to support that, see the way Michael Moore was treated after his 2003 Oscar acceptance speech protesting the invasion of Iraq. People were outraged that someone would speak out against the President. Now, 12 years later, nobody chooses to remember how pro-war the entire country was.

If Trump enters office, humanity should be scared that such an ego has access to the world’s greatest pool of nuclear arms. With his supposed ‘foolproof plan’ to rid the world of ISIS and a weak global economy, the $10 billion man’s failure to complete the appropriate documents for a Republican nomination says more than I can about how he views his relationship to ‘the commoner’.

Let’s just hope he didn’t put money on the Democrats holding office in 2016. Those stupid remarks seem a bit more carefully calculated now.

I just love me a conspiracy theory.

(Submit witty and equally thought-provoking sign off here)

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