I have to confess to something: I’m the victim of a vicious addiction. I’m forced to satisfy this craving every night in the comfort of my own home, with my arms outstretched and my mind awash with euphoria.
There’s nothing like loosening your grip on reality, is there?
Of course, I’m talking about my beloved Xbox 360. Specifically, an EA Sports title has grabbed my attention for the past 15 years.
With NHL 16‘s release last week, I’ve been forced to sit on the sidelines and watch my buddies, all clad in their next-gen gaming apparel, turn on their Xbox One‘s and PlayStation 4‘s and run the world’s most sophisticated hockey simulator on their big-screen TV’s.
And none of them will give me a turn.
It’s just like daycare at Ms. Jefferson’s house in grade 1 ALL OVER AGAIN.
I know what you’re thinking: “Gee, buddy, why don’t you go on down to that there electronics store and pick yourself up one of them video gamin’ gizmos.”
Thanks for your opinion, my good-natured, apparently Southern friend.
But this predicament carries some weight beyond my desire to not spend 4 or 500 dollars at Best Buy or EB Games. Mine is a story of principle, an attempt to prove to the man that I’m not just another member of the Sheeple herd (People + Sheep = Sheeple).
While I’m a hockey fan (I also love Fifa and NBA games), I think that sporting fans from all walks of life can relate to my plight. And here it is: I won’t buy a next generation console, or the latest instalment in the NHL video game series, because I don’t think corporations like Microsoft, Sony, or EA Sports have done enough to earn my money.
Heresy, you say? Sacrilege, you declare? A witch hunt, you propose?
We live in a society that’s OBSESSED with materialism. Look at the drones lining up outside of the Apple store for the latest iPhone. Also, consider that when you wear an article of clothing with a corporation’s name on it, know that you’re paying to advertise SOMEONE ELSE’S product.
As the late George Carlin put it: “you’re actively participating in your own degradation.”
Now, I love me some good corporation. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t approve of the hell hole that my computer was created in somewhere overseas. But I do love me some brand names and the quality products that I can buy at reasonable(?) prices. Which brings me to EA and my hesitation in buying NHL 16: there’s no competition for that video game series. Which means there’s no reason to innovate their on-screen product…which holds the entire gaming industry back from it’s true potential.
Let’s go back to high school for a moment. Say you liked this girl, Alice Shortskirt (Last name’s of European heritage, I dunno). Anyway, this other guy also liked Alice, but he only admired her from a distance and never mustered up the courage to talk to her.
Meanwhile, you’re beside that pretty lady doing everything you can to be with her. Since Johnny Nospeak isn’t offering you any competition whatsoever, you don’t have to improve your strategy when trying to court Alice. The bottom line: all industries need competition for real progress to be made. Monopolies kill innovation.
Now reframe this argument and cast me, the gamer, in the role of Alice Shortskirt. Who’s the stud that won’t stop hitting on me…the ONLY stud that won’t stop hitting on me? The answer: EA Sports.
You heard it first…I’m stuck in an unhealthy and boring relationship PURELY due to a lack of suitors.
Grand Theft Auto V, come here…mend my heart.
(Insert witty and equally thought-provoking sign off here)